The goddess and the dark
*Mature concepts in this post, could be triggering to those suffering. Read with care. My posts are meant to validate and give compassion*
I wrote a post earlier on Antinatalism. It went out tonight with my dad to get a doctors note and on the drive I once again, psychologically got to the point where I could not fully declare myself an Antinatalist, though I am one who will never have kids. That is for certain. This world to me is full of suffering and pain and I wish I had not been born.
I made that post private.
I think what it is, is that I still need healing. I need it. If only for my soul.This world is dark and not safe and full of evil. And to me it would be be better to not have been born. But sadly I exist, and I need healing still for the sadness and trauma of my soul.
I think, instead of calling myself an Antinatalist I just identify as a person who has experienced horrors in life and do not think life is safe, a person who will never have kids because I will bring no one into this world where so much suffering occurs, and a person who thinks people need to recognize the horrific suffering that happens DAILY and CONSTANTLY in the world.
I think people should be allowed to grieve that they live in a world that has much cruelty and is fundamentally flawed, and those who want to die should be allowed to peacefully die in this world without shame. I agree with Antinatalism though that suicide doesn’t undo the ultimate wound, which for many sensitive souls- is being born.
For now I feel my place is working with goddess energy to soothe myself as best I can and to bring compassion to and not hide the darkness that is everywhere; loss, pain, suffering, sadness, terror, trauma, horror.