Existential Pain: Otherwise known as “Why the Fuck am I here?’

*Triggers* I write about sad stuff, trauma, pain, despair…understood?

I have alot of pain inside, me, but I know very well that I am not alone in my intense pain.
This whole world is full of incredible, horrific, unbearable, excruciating pain.
I dont speak for the rainbows, bunnies and candies side of life– because everyone is so happy and comfortable talking about that.
Everyone tries to ignore and suppress the reality that life is full, full, full of horrific pain. Those who have experienced pain that scars them so deeply that they have felt the loss of all hope, the loss of all peace, the feeling of being torn apart and left ruined– know what the fuck I’m talking about.

I often, if not always these days wish I was never born. I comfort myself by reminding myself I will one day die.
That brings me peace.
I will no longer have to know anything about pain, loss, horror, terror, ruin, shock, misery.

One day I will die and this to me is beautiful news. I will die and the shit of life will no longer be able to touch me. I will be somewhere else, where there is true light, were I can finally rest. There the True God( feminine and masculine) will be and I will be known, and my tears will truly be wiped away.

I will no longer have to deal with a world of shit.

If my posts alarm you, at the pain, the frankness, dont read it– I will be incredibly blunt.
If my posts help you realize your own pain, and know you are not alone– that not everyone ignores the pain of life– keep reading. It is you that I want to validate. I am writing for you. And I am writing for myself, as writing is the way I express my soul.

Welcome sad ones,
You are not alone.


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