I do not fit in my family or where i live

I really never fit in my family or where I live. I have always felt misunderstood and other. I have always felt like I wasn’t really seen or heard for myself.
Even my close friends do not really know me. The first time in my whole life I found others like me, creative, passionate, people also deeply dissatisfied by life was in my online community which I can only access via computer not phone. I still havnt gotten my computer back, which is shit, but I don’t expect my parents to understand how I felt about those people. My parents recieved much social acceptance and have much of there lives in school, as well as now in work and at church, I have not.
My people are on that online community. I dont expect anyone to get that unless they have had to find friends online because in day to day no one understood them.
I realize if I don’t get well and move out I’m going to go insane from all the invalidation around me, surprisingly my mind still works. Sadly I have little to no control on how or if I heal or how fast I can move out, or if I’ll ever be able to move out.
My parents now feel the best way to handle my health problems is for me to push myself past it, no matter what degree of pain im in. And oh yeah, that’s actually how they most always recomend one deal with pain.
Invalidation kills sensitives. Its a wonder I’m not dead already.


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