I am disillusioned by my life.
I have lost something that was once, and for majority of my life, very dear to me– the belief that God cared about me.
I have experienced a lot of pain in my life and though I do believe God is real, I see that my trust in him is dead, and if that trust is ever revived at all– it will never be a complete trust.
There is a trailer for a Dystopian film coming out, “The Rover.” I saw the trailer for it. It is an end of the world film, so naturally its dark and grim. But there are two lines I deeply resonate with. At the end of the trailer, one man tells another, “There’s no harm that God won’t see me come to.”
The other man replies, “God feels nothing for you. The only thing that means anything right now is that I’m here and he’s not.”
I could almost cry at those line.
Its exactly the words my soul feels.