* Possible trigger. Brief symbolic trauma expression
I’m not going to write too much today. Today I needed my mind to be still. I got to spend time with my parents today. Talked with dad a little about articles I read in World Vision’s magazine. I have always liked the articles and inspirational images– for many years.
I helped my mom with a simple task of putting address stickers on the envelopes for my youngest brother’s graduation.
I looked at natural soaps online. I found it calming to read the ingredients and look at the images and colors. I have always liked looking at natural products of all kinds.
I know that something has turned– I just can’t write or think about it right now. My overworked mind has to be still.
I can feel the trauma grotesquely when I think too much. I overheard a movie on the tv the other day and the screams, of a simple pg-13 superhero movie made me feel crushed. Because there are screams held inside me. Screams that I didn’t scream because I was too busy trying to survive.
I saw a pattern of fabric and when I reflected on it later, it reminded me of my body injuries– which I view symbolically as red deep stretched out gashes.
These are what I had to keep myself calm from.
Something shifted yesterday, I feel some water on those red wounds. I feel some cool blue water. I am just afraid to think too deeply on it right now because right now, my mind needs to be quiet.