What I have Learned about Suffering

*Possible triggers. Rant about God, suffering and the concept of “protection.”

I have learned, in my state of intense suffering, that there are no imaginary borders, lines or limits to the amount a person can suffer. It is sweet and lovely naivety to observe intense suffering and assume it can never belong to oneself. I never in life would have thought I would have suffered so much. I would have never thought it possible.

There is something idealistic about the notion that God will protect oneself from intense pain– pain that surpasses what one can handle. It’s just not true. It’s not true that God will protect oneself from destruction either.  What is love if not to protect the loved one from destruction??

Yes, great miracles are performed. I believe that. But there are seas of people over generation to generation from the beginning of time who have suffered extremely

by incurable disease states leaving bodies and minds torn apart

by violence, war, abuse, poverty, women, men and children forced to live in the streets– less cared for then animals!

by tornadoes and storms that crush people

and the endless list of the ways people suffer because sin came into the world ( HOW LONG WILL MISERY HAVE TO BE ON THIS EARTH!?)


Testimonies always seem to come out of the ashes. Yes, God spares some, cares for them so tenderly.

But this post is for those

who God does not deal with tenderly

who are in a permanent state of shell shock

who feel like they are living the realest of hells

and who will never see God or the world the same way again





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