Feeling Severely Abandoned by God
I feel severely abandoned by God
I am desperate to hold onto some sense of hope in my suffering but recently I gave up on holding close onto hope. At the same time I am afraid to loose hope completely. I don’t want to spiritually feel I am alone as a human being and that God doesn’t care– but at the same time that is how I feel.
My trust in God has taken a very bad blow. I do not trust him. In fact, I am afraid of God now, afraid in the way a person would be afraid to see a individual who punches them in the face every time they come around.
The reality is that, if this is a test, I have lost– about a hundred times now.
I really don’t know what is going to happen and I am too tired emotionally to think of it anymore tonight.