Is the World A Game of Chance?

I am not sure if the world is a game of chance or not?

The God that once felt close to me, I no longer know. I know he exists but I do not know who he is.

As far as I can see, he cares nothing about me or many other people on this earth.

I could be horribly wrong, but all I can draw from is my experiences.

And my experience is that, I am on my own.

That beauty and ruin is a game of chance and that God is only watching.

I know he does miracles. I have read and seen many testimonies and I believe them true– but I have seen no miracles that end my suffering yet. So I don’t have that to go on.

I don’t feel loved by God. I definitely do not feel cared for by him.

*throws hands up in the air* Well see what happens.

I know though, to retain my mind under so much stress, I am no longer at this time looking to God for help, comfort or love, because another let down could result in my giving up on life or loosing my mind– and I need to try my best to stay here.

* throws hands up in the air….*

 

 

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