Unprotected

Some people suffer and never are rescued. That is me. Tired as death, but no one will ever know or understand how much I have suffered. For a young woman not even yet thirty, I have dealt with more than is mentally digestible. I no longer believe everything has a purpose. I think life is close to the animal kingdom. If you are a deer you will get hit twice on the side of the road, and the car will keep driving.
I am a deer.

The fragile, sensitive, feelers suffer the worst, I am convinced.

I think now, life is full of arbitrary pain.  I do not think any of it means anything. I think God does protect and care for some, but not me.

If I ever did have a purpose, it is obviously to be a vessel of unnatural pain over and over until I die. No limits to the pain.

I see why people FAIL life, its because they were given no answers and left to suffer endlessly.

Life to me now is no more than a more complicated animal kingdom and I can not stand being here. I am here for my family and that is it.

I am not writing for anyone who does not understand. I am writing for those who do.
I don’t believe there is any mercy in life anymore, I only believe there is luck and I have had little.

 

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