Tomorrow I have another doctors appointment. I am scared because I know that if I do not find the answers soon, I am going to die- and not a fast death either, one where my brain is completely taken away and my organs and then death.
I hope the doctor really listens to me and hears my concerns. I am convinced I am suffering from some sort of vitamin deficiency. Many of my symptoms are that of someone in the last stages of b-12 deficiency where they have mental damage, physical shutting down of organs, damage to eyes and senses etc. I am having all of those symptoms and more. One of my results does show some sort of anemia. I have a sense that I am deficient in a vital b vitamin. I have been tested for b 12 deficiency many times and it has always been normal but I know that there are other b vitamins that doctors do not readily test for, that without-cause the same sort of deterioration. I have a sense of what I may be lacking as of this past week and will ask for a test tomorrow if possible. If she tells me no. I will get the test at request a test.com.
As a highly sensitive person I find my keen perceptions about my body are often easily discounted by doctors, ending up in untold amounts of suffering for me. If I ever make it through this season of hell I am going to find a quiet spot and cry until I can no longer walk. Right now I don’t even have the luxury of tears and have not for a long time. My only option is to walk from one moment of trauma to the next, hoping against all sense, that I will be healed and not torn apart, crushed under a impossibly large spiked shoe and shred to death.