Up Late Again
I’m up late and thinking.
At the moment I feel too broken to hope.
I want to cry. I want to lay somewhere small and soft and cry.
I am tired of pain, physical and emotional. I am afraid of whether or not my body will be able to be repaired.
I’m afraid my mind and emotions have been tested too much.
Hope has danced in front of me, tauntingly and beautiful so many times, and when I reached to embrace–there was nothing.
I feel shattered. It hurts to dream for anything.
I feel a death has occurred in me because of the suffering I know. I know a death has occurred.
I feel traumatized and terrified.
Tonight I am only broken.
Tonight I am only a testimony of suffering.